To the Mothers Who've Said Goodbye

A prayer for the painful journey of motherhood

When I entered motherhood a decade ago, I wasn’t expecting it to hold so many goodbyes. Sure, I knew there would be the farewells to swaddled newborn stages, childhood musings, middle school attitudes, and graduates headed into the next stage of adulthood. But not the earth-shattering, gut-wrenching, and unexpected goodbyes that I’ve had to journey in.

My motherhood goodbyes came way too early—these ones were not supposed to happen.

The world is not as it should be. I was supposed to have seven children running around my house right now. There should be nine of us squeezing in at the table laughing over dinner tonight, crying together when our dog died a couple weeks ago, and cuddling up on the couch watching a Friday night movie.

There shouldn’t be empty bassinets, dining room chairs, bedroom closets, or carseats.

Motherhood, most of the time, looks vastly different than we thought it would.

It ends up holding deep pain.

It experiences tremendous loss.

It holds goodbyes that should have never happened.

Sometimes Mother’s Day is a beautiful day of celebration.

Sometimes Mother’s Day is a reminder of the pain that has shattered our hearts.

Sometimes Mother’s Day is just plain hard.

You have permission here to hold any or all of these in this space.

My beautiful family in 2018 - since then we have lost two and welcomed three.

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What about you, dear mother, where have you had to say goodbye?

This prayer today, is offered from one broken-hearted mom to another. I see you. I wish I could hug you. Don’t invalidate the grief of the goodbyes you’ve had—they are held tenderly in the gaze of Jesus.

The death.

The estranged child.

The dissolution of an adoption.

The preschool graduation.

The dream shattered.

The empty womb.

The favorite swaddle blanket packed.

The college freshman hug.

The child you bore and handed to another.

The years lost.

This prayer is for you. You’re so much more than the goodbyes you’ve had to journey through. May you feel loved and held this Mother’s Day.

What my daily motherhood journey looks like in 2025.

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A Prayer for the Mother's Who've Said Goodbye

God, the journey of motherhood is one of the most raw places we have walked.

Our hearts are weary.

Our souls are worn out.

Our tears seem endless.

Farewells are a part of life. Sometimes they come like a violent wave crashing in unexpectedly. Or they can come as a gentle stream—kindly ebbing and flowing.

Where is Your hope in the last hug?

Where is Your goodness in the screams of mercy?

Where is Your presence in this goodbye?

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God, our hearts are crying out to feel You near.

Hold us in our pain.

Hold us in our loss.

Hold us in our confusion.

Hold us in our grief.

Hold us in our question asking.

Hold us in our doubt.

Hold us.

We know You can.

We know You are.

We know You will.

May we feel held in the caring arms of the Trinity.

May we remember that our pain-stricken journeys of motherhood matter deeply to You.

May we feel nurtured by You today as we cry tears for those we long to have in our own arms.

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God, our souls sing praises to You through clouded eyes.

You say goodness and love will follow us all the days of our lifes.¹

Let it be so today.

Let us breathe in Your joy and exhale our pain.

Let us breathe in Your love and exhale our loss.

Let us breathe in Your seeing of our grief and exhale the dreams lost.

Let us breathe in You.

Let us breathe with You.

Let us breathe You.

Amen.

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1. Psalm 23:6