How do I Celebrate and Grieve?
A blessing to make space for both
It was a moment of celebration that we were announcing—another life added to our family. A beautiful girl that we got to daily hold in our arms, coo over, and deeply fall in love with. I was filling in the blank spaces on our little girl’s announcement card, when the prompts asked me to write all the names of our family. I filled in the names of the six other humans that live with me—but there was one missing. A little while later I showed the announcement to my husband to get his thoughts. As we stood in the kitchen looking at the the almost finished product, tears welled up in my eyes—I wasn’t sure about writing out all our names. I was reminded in a rush, that even though we’d just welcomed a precious baby into our family, there was still an empty spot at the dinner table and couch where I longed for my son to be.
Grief always seems to surprise us at the moments when we least expect it to—even when we’re celebrating.
Often times when we experience grief, celebrations takes on a surprising form of hard. We may hold guilt, because we’re reminded of what was lost, or we may be scared to celebrate because we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. But celebration doesn’t have to be held in extremes—all joy or all pain. We can make space for both.
Whatever grief journey you walk, or celebration you experience, know this—Jesus is crying with you and simultaneously rejoicing alongside you.
Today, I want to offer you a short blessing to celebrate what is good in your life, while also naming what is painfully hard.
It’s been almost three years since I hugged my son goodbye, and not a day passes by that I don’t miss him to the core of my being. However, we have still learned how to keep living life—celebrating birthdays, milestones, births, and achievements. We have rejoiced and laughed, while remembering, and crying—sometimes all in the same day.
In the end, we mailed out a few birth announcements—celebrating our precious girl, but also gave ourselves the freedom to just put her name, and leave the rest of our family off.
You have permission to grieve today.
You have permission to celebrate today.
Both are welcome in the safe presence of our friend Jesus.
A Blessing for Celebrating Amidst Grief
Blessed are you, dear soul, in the celebration that you hold today.
The birthday.
The holiday.
The graduation.
The baptism.
The published book.
The birth of a child.
The unexpected blessing.
May the joy you experience today be one that draws you closer to the heartbeat of Jesus.
Because He is drawing nearer to you.
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Blessed are you, dear soul, for there is pain that holds an unseen, deep ache in your heart today.
The loss of a dream.
The job that ended.
The child that doesn’t talk to you.
The death of a parent.
The divorce that was finalized.
The addiction that reared its head again.
The life that you thought would look one way, which looks drastically different.
May you remember the smile of God is gazing on you today, and He sees the tears that are shed, the ones that are not, and the silent pleas of your heart.
Because He is drawing nearer to you.
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Whatever your celebration welcomes today—I bless the experience you desire it to be.
Because you also know the deep pain that your heart carries, and the footprints you have marked on the road of loss.
You don’t desire the interwoven complexities of celebration and grief, but that is what today is:
a juxtaposition of our broken world and a wholeness yet to come in another.
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May you remember today that all feelings are welcome and held tenderly in the hands of God.
May you give yourself freedom today—to cry your eyes out, and laugh your hardest.
May you receive the hope that is held for you, even when you can’t hold it for yourself.
May you let Jesus remind your tender heart today—that you are lavishly loved.
Amen.
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I don't know how you do it Brianna. You are amazing. Just what I needed to read this morning and to remember I am never alone with Jesus in my life.
The title of this post immediately caught my attention because it’s exactly what I’m going through right now. I just celebrated a friend’s wedding and a birthday but I’m also grieving the death of my husband’s grandmother. The complications of life certainly don’t seem to slow down but I’m certainly grateful for a God who celebrates and mourns with me through it all.